Show Notes
Today on The Jay Allen Show, Jay speaks with "The Nocturnal Doctor" Harry Turner. During the conversation, Harry discusses his passion for people and mental health! Listen to this all important discussion on The Jay Allen Show.
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[00:00:02] spk_0: This show is brought to you by safety FM Well, hello and welcome to another episode of the J ALLen show. I hope everything is good and grand inside of your neck of the woods. It's been a fun year so far. Just taking a look at all the things that are going on and you kind of take a look back for a moment and you go, where has all the time gone? It's unbelievable that were already at the end of september the new year will be here in no time as you take a look forward. So let me tell you what we have going on today. I have the opportunity of sitting down with Harry Turner, the nocturnal therapist. If I was to tell you exactly how he describes himself for more than a decade, I have dedicated my life to helping others breakthrough personal barriers, overcomes life's challenges in the lead. Generally happy and healthier lives. I've traveled worldwide spreading love throughout volunteerism. It inspired me to create a nonprofit organization. My passion led me to be employed by a mental health department of a multi level security state correctional center, the emergency department of a major nonprofit hospital in a major community mental health clinic in baton rouge Louisiana. I later created my private practice, diverse counseling solutions LLC and now my online platform school of the outliers. So I want you to sit back today and take a listen to this conversation between Harry turner and myself. We're going to take some deep dives into mental health and other things that are out there. So sit back and take a listen right now on the J Allen show show streaming now on safety FM dot life. Okay. All right, Well there's definitely a pleasure to see you and you know, to meet you what you're finally Well, I saw you for a few minutes but I couldn't hear you so, so it's good and sorry about the delay on getting this done. Um You've been kind of busy with the weather thing, so I entirely get that. But of course I have to ask the question number one, are you fine? Because it looks like you're it seems like you're in a good place so that that's important. But you just said that your families displaced at the same time too. So are you in close proximity or some kind of distance to work? Yeah. No, my my parents, they're up in uh barry at the top of Louisiana. I mean I'm from the uh I'm in the capital baton rouge about three hours, 3.5, 4 hours away. Um And as long as they are alive, you know, we've been through Katrina, we've been, you know, my parents been through Hurricane Betsy and Camille for those of y'all who know that like the those historic hurricanes and so for them, as long as they are alive, they're good to go, you know, they can replace everything else, the house and everything else, you know? Absolutely. So I have to ask of course the other strange question, Late night show. So, are you still doing it with everything going on in your lifetime at the moment? Almost certainly never, nothing ever stops. I just want to make sure because, you know, sometimes, you know, when things go out of the ordinary, people go, okay, time to drop the mic and move on to some something else for the time being, Well, I just want to well, let me say this, I your this today is my this is the first podcast. As soon as this is done, I'm into when Harry met Daphne, my second podcast. Then from there, I have four other podcasts. I'll be doing, so just today, I'll be doing six podcasts and it ain't that slow down for me. Okay, wow. So it keeps you busy. So, I'm gonna tell you, you know, we we met on match maker is how we kind of came about. And I always have a weird time having that discussion with people at the very beginning, because if you're not familiar with it, somebody automatically assumes it's a dating site, which that's not the case. I mean, when I had to explain it to my spouse, it was like, I'm investing into this company, but this is what they do, and it's not a dating website. So it's always, it's always an interesting conversation, but I have to tell you when we, when we're kind of, going back and forth. I was taking a look at some of the information that I could find and what amazes me is that you are a psychotherapist. Yes, but you start off in the world of criminology, how did you go down this path and you make it to where you're at right now? Okay, To where I'm at right now, that's a long journey. But I'll say that. Let me rephrase that, please. How did you get in from criminology to go into psychotherapy? I mean, I guess if one, once I asked the question out loud, I can see where it might tie in, but at the same time, you know, now a lot of people make that connection. Yeah. So for me criminology, I took that up whenever I came back to school, the second time, at first I was pre med, I got, you know, one semester away from graduating with my biological science degree and I said I don't wanna be a doctor. So I know, what did you say? One semester, one semester, Oh my you're committed. You're committed then, for sure. Yeah, you'd be committed now that you're committed joking. No, no, but but I'm committed to my, once I make up my mind, I'm committed to that always. So for me it was pointless to get a sheet of paper because a sheet of paper doesn't define me. I mean, yes, I know in the world of symbolism, especially here in America sheets of paper and letters, they mean things, but they don't to me. So I mean it means that I get to do a thing, but it never defined who I am personally. So when I returned back criminology, sociology with a concentration criminology, it was the study of human behavior and I've always been fascinated by that. Uh and so I just zoomed through that and after I finished my bachelor's degree, I knew I couldn't unless I went for the CIA FBI. It was pretty difficult to get a job with just criminology. And I saw a flyer with this uh this caucasian male and it's relevant with a bunch of uh he had a plenty of african Children around him and he was holding one up and it gave me such a warm feeling in my heart and I saw the School of social work on it. So I went to the School of Social work and uh basically the director there, she said, yeah, that's that was Aldine. Um that picture is actually a picture he took when he was overseas. We actually don't do that. We do micro level work, which is like therapy and stuff like that. He she said that he just like the picture and put it on there. But that's what led me to the school and I didn't have any plans for anything else. So I said okay to hell with it, I'll just check and see what the social work thing is about. I had no idea. I would end up becoming a psychotherapist, but there's a difference between therapy and psychotherapy. Would you like me to go into that? Absolutely. Of course, we have people that want to want to know more. So, Okay, alright, alright, therapy versus psychotherapy. So typically therapists, they function, they focus on every day functioning, right? So you have issues in your marriage, or you're having issues at the job of managing stress. They helped to uh to help a person get a baseline level of functioning that's healthy psychotherapist, at least the way that I see it. We're more fraud ian and carl young, like, um and that for me, everything begins every experience we've ever had matters. And so when someone comes into my office, I want to know about the limiting beliefs. They may not know it, and I don't ask them like this, but I'm trying to identify the Levitin and unhealthy beliefs they have adopted from childhood in the traumatic experiences that they've had. Because in those traumatic experiences, we make a conclusion about ourselves in those experiences and that leads to a limiting belief in a lifetime pattern. I've done hypnotherapy with people in the 70s that went back to memories when they were two and three years old, that began a lifetime pattern and they just now identifying it in their seventies. So every single experience we've had, it builds on each other every single time we feel anxious, it's not just in the current that we're experiencing even logically, the mind says that it's every single time we've been anxious, every time we feel sad, it's every experience we had with sadness. So it always goes back to the beginning. And so for me, psychotherapy, just my opinion and I'm biased now because I'm a psychotherapist, but for me it's shooting at the base of the fire instead of at the top of the flames. I wanna put out the fire. You know, when you start going through the process, just for us to have a better understanding as well. It's not a one or two time conversation because this is gonna take some time to develop because somebody is not going to open up to you of, let me tell you what I would consider my deepest and darkest secrets to some extent. So what is the what is the path that you normally would have to go down just to be able to get some of this information? Well, the same path that you will go down for anything else that you're intentional about learning. It takes time and dedication and diligence. But also, if you have a competent therapist, then they they make things a lot easier. So oftentimes people come to my office at this point, people come to my office and I've been studying human behavior so long that when they come into my office they tell me a few sentences and I can tell them their life story. and so that automatically makes a person feel much more comfortable with opening up, he's like, oh shit what he already knows anyway. You know? Like, you know I mean? And I tell them, I said that I'm not a psychic, that's not, I'm not, you know, I can't see that. It's literally we are much more uh program than we realize. We think that every single decision we make is an autonomous decision in which we're exercising 100% control, but rarely do we ever exercise our own individual autonomous control. And so it's understanding why, you know, So let me ask the strange question here because I say this all the time. So I wanted to get your opinion on it. Do you think that what makes you very good at your job and your career path makes you have crappy personal relationships to an extent because you already kind of can recognize and read people No, actually my personal relationships are typically pretty, pretty rewarding, you know, because the reading of people for me, people are no more than an extension, a separate version, an extension of myself. And so really the only reason we even hold on, I mean they're coming around crappy people, jeez thanks So, but it's seriously, I see people as an extension of myself. And so uh for for me it's always an opportunity to learn a deeper truth about that person and at the same time, learn a deeper truth about myself because whether we realize it or not, even though we experience life separately, were born tabula rasa or empty slave and we have a subjective human experience in which we are experiencing life as being separate from everybody else. I know that we're all the same. That's that's me, that's me now, that's me. And so I operate from that place. So my personal relationships are pretty rewarding. The only, the only strain a strain on it is that I right now I'm so busy with the hustle and bustle. Like I said, I have five podcasts record just today, you know, outside of this one. So this would be number six and I'm glad I'm starting off with this because I have the most energy I'm and I had no idea I had was going to have issues with my mind and everything, but um but yeah, man, um as long as I have the time, you know, or rather as long as I am intentional about telling my time to spend time my people, that's when my relationships are the most healthiest, but it's easy for me to get wrapped up in my mission and neglect those relationships. So let me let me ask this strange question here when you then say that everybody's living life individually, which is true. What happens when you start hearing when people saying, oh, we're all in this together and we want to have similarities or we have groups of people that hang around each other because of similar paths, quote unquote in based on what you're saying. It doesn't sound like that's the case in regards that we're all living in similar paths. We all go through our own individual journey. So how do you look at that? Yeah, we all go through our own individual journey, but we're all here to answer the same question, which is the who am I. And so that's that's where we have the commonality at. You know, whether we realize it or not, that's what we always answering when a person feels empty when they become complacent. Um, uh, it's usually because they stop answering the question, Who am I? You know, it doesn't matter how much money you make, it doesn't matter what your uh sexual orientation is, what your gender is, what your what your so what your ethnicity is. None of those things matter when it comes down to happiness, happiness and peace and these higher emotions, they are in relation to how authentic we are being, authenticity is tied to how closely in alignment we are with our values, Our values represent who we are in this place. The closest thing that represents who we are in this place of business, where everything is and nothing is not. And so when it comes down to people, um, yeah, we're here together, but that doesn't mean that we're all here on the same mission, you know, and we we most certainly uh I take on the the belief in the practice of you know, I am my brother's and sister's keeper, you know? So I do believe that we're all here together. But just because we're using the same words doesn't mean we're reading from the same dictionary. So I got to understand what persons principles are because if you don't have principles that are congruent to mind, if you're not a principal person, which I find is rare these days. If you're not a principal person and your principles are not congruent to mind, then I can't fool with you because you may not, you may not bite me right now. But at some point when the squeeze happens, your principles will be expressed. Which if you don't have any there will be hedonistic in nature, in nature and selfish. And so that's when I get bit. So I specifically align myself with people who are energetically aligned with me via uh Congruence and value system. Well, here's I'm going to tell you your one answer. There's so much to unpack there. And that's a good thing. I like it because you have a you have a thinking man's answer which I love because there's so many different ways that you can go with this. But you did reference a couple of different things and I kind of want to take a little deeper dive if you don't mind. Do you think that some of the programming that most people get comes directly from their parents? Do you think that that's some of the portion that really aligns on what they're going? What part of their trajectory can be going forward? Almost certainly, uh, from their parents, but the parents have also been indoctrinated. So it's really about what what generation will choose to get out of the Matrix. We were born in the we were still being taught according to the industrial age philosophy, the industrial age, we needed factory workers, that, that the rich people need to factory workers, there were more time. They need to factory workers. And the schooling system is based off of that as well. All of this is a form of indoctrination. And so when you look at school, you have to answer test, you have to meet certain requirements and then you answer to an authority figure training even us as kids to follow instructions to not be intentional about life, but rather to be intentional about filing instructions from somebody in charge. And so we go through school and then uh, and I've said this many times. Uh, we have a graduation, whether very, very graduation can be seen as a combination of the words gradual and indoctrination. We've been gradually indoctrinated into american way of thinking, but all of us, if we turn our critical thinking. Hat we have to ask ourselves what is the american way of thinking and does all of it benefit us? Is it the healthiest way of going about life? You know, you have such good answers. I'm going to tell you that and I don't normally say that to people because I always get like, I always think that's such a dumb comment for somebody to say, let's just be realistic. I say that all the time when somebody told me that such a great question. Um, but I never tell anybody they have great answers. Now, the other portion is because it is programming and I love that you use the matrix terminology for sure. But you said on the previous answer as well that we are our brother's Keeper. You also had reference to me prior on some of the information that you had sent over um, that some of your interest or spirituality. So do you look at it from that standpoint from a faith based portion on your, your, your brother's keeper. I hate titles. I mean, I don't hate title, we'll say spirituality. We don't have to say faith based. We can say spirituality if that works better. No, I am a faith, I'm full of faith. But the faith, the faith that I have besides my own personal religious beliefs, which I believe all of us have religion honestly, religion is every thought word indeed, but I am a christian, but I'm not exactly uh, the run of the mill christian. Um, and there's so many different things that could mean, well I'm more into uh, understanding the universal codes that guide everything because things the way that is physical manifestation presents itself, it presents itself in different ways. But these spiritual laws remain the same. And so for me I am my brother's keeper, that's part. Yeah, I do combine spirituality with what it is that I know science only goes so far and even more so now they're showing their proving that because of quantum mechanics and what's being done via quantum mechanics. Quantum physics when you think about the superposition and you have an uh an atom in multiple places at the same time. I mean how close is that to the christian concept of omni presence, you know like these things are being proven. And so I know I know that these spiritual truths have always been around and that no matter what your belief system is, those that go deepest in their own understanding of this earth, they always come to the same conclusion in Christianity. There is read what you reap what you sow in buddhism, they may call it karma and and and uh science or if you're if you're strictly a science person, Newton sir, Isaac Newton's third law of thermodynamics states for every action has an equal and opposite reaction. You're saying the same thing just in different ways. When you go deeper in your knowledge, you always come to the same center. You know this is jay allen show there is a lot of misconceptions when it comes to the world of virtual private networks or VPNS. Let me tell you real quick about my favorite VPN service, Nord VPN. I hear people say all the time that VPns have the reputation of slowing down your internet speed but not with Nord VPN. It's because they are the fastest VPN in the world world. I don't know if the sacrifice internet speed for better security with nord VPN, my traffic is routed through a secure encrypted tunnel which protects my data and privacy. 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At checkout, remember 73% off for a two year plan plus four months for free and we are back on the J allen show on safety FM. You know, it's great that you mentioned that because there's not a lot of people that I'm able to sit around and have a conversation about quantum mechanics with. So I appreciate you actually getting and it's interesting because you almost told exactly the same point that I was gonna make, it's interesting on them when you take a look at the different, we'll say forms of religion or faith or however you want to base it, that there have some similarities. Um We can talk about what you were just referencing, we can talk about the flood if you want to do that as well. That there at some point there is something that's kind of even so when you take a look and you look at the over universal, universal appeal to it, do you say that we're kind of all doing the same thing in a different sequence but trying to get to the same destination. Yes, and and some of us are much more skilled than others are doing. So when you see these gurus and uh you know, people like the dalai Lama and what not, these people are not meant to be idols uh there and it's much easier. I would imagine it would be much less challenging to be a monk if I live in a monastery, it's not so easy to be a monk if I live in baton rouge and I'm trying to get to work and it's high traffic time period and people are driving crazy on the road, you see there's so many distractions throughout life. The really the only thing that I can rely on that solid are my value system. So those who are authentic or have developed a skill of operating through their values, I'm not saying you need to move to a monastery because I'm not living in a monastery. I still lived through my values. What I'm saying is that it's about skillfully practicing different to your values the moment that you don't do that now you're being guided by the mind and what it wants and the mind is only looking for threats. So it's operating based off of fears. The longest distance any of us will ever take is just between our head and our hearts. When you begin to operate from your heart space. Now you can channel the mind, you can move through the mind and use the mind for what is meant to be, which was a tool. The mind was created last not first, the body is not an extension of the mind. The mind is an extension of the body, but if he gets that. And so it puts its its priorities first, which are fear based, always looking for threats, you know, and that's why we have the tendency to want to hide ourselves instead of being true authentic self. But that's the myth that the mind tells us because the mind says that you will be safe from pain. If you hide yourself, let me tell you life is gonna bring pain no matter what, whether you hide in the closet or whether you choose to be authentic self, so which one will get you free? You know, that's what I thought about, which one would get me free and of course being my authentic self is that if I got to deal with pain anyway, then screw it, you know, I'm gonna be my authentic self in the process. If I'm gonna be judged by people anyway, I'd rather be judged for being my authentic self can be judged for hide in the closet. If I'm going to talk about anyway, I'd rather be talked about while I'm out here doing my thing as opposed to hide in the closet. You know, if I'm gonna be miserable if I'm gonna be miserable, I'm not gonna be miserable if I'm being myself. Yeah, because that's a horrible example, but if I am miserable if I'm in a state of misery, which I was in before, then that's a sign for me to seek out my true authentic self because it's only when I'm living through my values that I have any sense of fulfillment. If we notice our values, your values basically what's important to you. If you wake up every day and do what's important to you, then you are living a values based life, you are experiencing fulfillment and now you've invited in happiness because happiness is not a destination to be reached. The way we travel. When you look up the etymology of the word happiness is to do that which produces the experience of happiness. It is an action word. It is in the present the moment that you begin pursuing happiness is the moment you decide you would never experience happiness. Man, there I something tells me that we could go on for a very very, very long. I have so many more questions to ask you. So to an extent you believe that we are a representation of what they deemed in the matrix representation of our digital selves. So with that being said, what's your take on social media and what's necessary? There's so many takes that we can take from that. I mean I know that's why I said, well it's a and it's something that we must adapt to while it's good and that it helps us to stay in touch. There's so much ignorance around it for all of us because it's so new, including the creators of it, they didn't expect for it to to to cause the issues that it is caused from election interference from foreign agents. Um all the way down to a person trying to cope with the ending of a relationship and yet they tune in and because facebook's algorithm shows their ex every time they tune in now they see their ex with somebody else, which didn't cause us more torment things like that. Social media we we as a society we're not prepared for. I believe that it's helpful because I wouldn't be on your show right now. We're not for social media, you know? But outside of that, when we go to seeking answers on social media, that's when we decide that we are basically acquiesce, you know, or throwing a dart in in in the middle of a dark room, you know, like it's there's no answers to be found on social media. You know, I mean there are people that can help guide you, but any true guide, they guide you into the dawning of your own understanding. They don't give you your their knowledge. They don't say be like me, like a lot of these uh charlatan, let me not go off on people, but there's a lot of people out there that you're being too kind, you're being too kind now. I mean if there's something out there, go for it. I'm good with this because these are conversations that we need to have. Um I find it hilarious, the fake famous thing, It's just mind boggling to me um people renting out rooms that are, that look like jets to say that they're flying in some jet that they're not flying in or buying likes or buying people to, you know, to follow them on social media for it to be like, look at my life, it's so important. And when you start taking into the whole account of how this affects somebody mentally, I think it's an important conversation because you get to interact with people that other people don't get to see. And I mean that in a fashion that, you know, I'm not saying, hey, let's open, let's open the fourth wall up and you tell me exactly what they're telling you. But some of these things bother people out there where I want my life to be similar to Mhm Whoever down the road because this life that they're living and I'm not saying, hey, post the worst thing of your life, but you don't see a lot of people posting of, hey, you know, the stuff hit the crapper today, it all hit the fan is all over the place, not a conversation most people have, it's, oh I'm going to do, I'm going to do buy into this fancy place and that's not everybody's life, they want to speak mm, I've made a habit of what more so now I'm more business like, so I just host a lot of things about my brand now, but I've always made it happen on social media of expressing all seasons of my heart because I'm a human being and I want to give the image as if life is supposed to be nothing but pleasure. That's bullshit. Life isn't all about uh pleasure, that's, that's hedonistic, the moment that you believe that life is all about pleasure. Um you know that you've completely lost yourself to the desires of the mind, which is hedonistic. Much of our growth and anything not growing is dead and we should be going to the day that we die. But much of our growth will be growing pains, not growing pleasures if we don't adopt the mentality to lean into our discomfort based off of our values to grow through that pain, then re recycle that same situation again and again and again until we get some understanding. That's the reason why that pain is there. That pain is there because we ignore that understanding and until we get that understanding, that exact pain that we experience will be there. That's the same thing I told people when I was a minimal clinician and uh multi level security prison and when I was teaching anger management and parenting classes, you know, a lot of, some of the younger ones in particular that the, okay, I love the old cats in the prison, but the younger ones in particular that just got in there with this cocky attitude. Yeah, I'm gonna do it, I'm going out there and I'm just gonna do it better next time I said, alright, dumb ass. I'll see you in about six months after you get out Sure enough. Yeah, either we get understand and I don't mean to call them by a dumb ass, you know? But I, yeah, there's a moment where it's, yeah, there's that shock factor, you know, I mean, and honestly dumb from my understanding, the word dumb means you can't learn stupid means that you refuse to learn. So really, he was being stupid and not dumb, you know, but dumb is an antiquated word. It was a, it was an appropriate legal word at one point in time, but now it's inappropriate anyway. Yeah, man, in this life we get knowledge. We either we get understanding or we get pain that's supposed to bring about understanding. And you mentioned something earlier about, you mentioned about social media and the mental health impact of social media Yeah, this facade because we're all seeking to answer that question, who am I? And when you have these, these pseudo, these pseudo leaders coming out, um, renting out planes and what not saying, hey, be like me, let me this is why values are so important and why principles are so important. So for anybody out there who has the, who's getting caught up in that or you know, somebody caught up in that, understand this? My favorite author, Khalil Gibran, he says, seek not to find the path to God, but rather seek to find God on your path. It's not about moving overhead, switching up your entire life and doing what this person says, you need to do so that you can be in a phony playing with the phony friends and everything else like them. It's not about that, it's about going deeper and what the hell you already know. I am a christian. If I meet somebody who's atheist, I said, okay, that's great. Just go deeper. And what you understand, if I meet somebody who's buddhist, great, go deeper in what you understand. If I meet somebody who's christian, alright, great, go deeper. And what you understand. Because if you go deep enough, you will not be able to tell the difference between someone who's buddhist versus someone who's christian versus someone who's hindu versus someone who's atheists, You will not be able to tell the difference between them. Because just like the earth, if we dig long enough, we all reached the same center and that's what the game is about. It's about answering that question, Who am I? We find a deeper with each time that we answer that question, because it's never just bam that question is answered. It's a gradual process of answering that question. And so it's not about finding the truth, but these individual truths about ourselves and as we experience life, which will come here to have a full experience, the more troops that we gather, the freer, we become, the more empowered we become. And the more decisions we make in that new level of awareness is about expanded awareness. You know, ignorance and freedom cannot coexist. I swear that we could be here for hours. I want to, I want to tell you this. So, so tell us about the school of the outliers. I'm interested in what you have to offer here. So, oh, I definitely should've right down. So this is where I have to develop the skill of selling myself a little bit better. I've never been used to doing that, but the school of our lives, I created it because honestly I am, I've considered myself to be an outline for quite some time. I just never really fit in. And so an outlier learned. And while I was getting my criminology degree, uh, it's a statistical anomaly outside of the margin. So in a classroom that's a kindergarten classroom that they wanted to calculate the average age they would throughout the teachers age because they would be an anomaly that would mess up or secure the results. Well, I've always been this anomaly. You know, um, I was the only african american male to graduate through my high school in my high school class because there was a drug bust. I think it was my sophomore year and uh, in my neighborhood and most of the african american men, which many of wasn't many of them to begin with, Most of them were incarcerated except for two of us. Um, and the other person, he dropped out when everybody else went to prison. So I was one of the only black men too to uh I was the only black men to cross the stage from my high school graduation. I was only black man to be and uh walk across the stage during my Master's degree graduation, like there's so many times throughout my life where I had to do things by myself and I didn't realize that that theme of being an outlier and having to just be intentional and operating my values even when I don't have a team beside me that that would be there, that that would have to be a necessary component. Now, I have a team now, I mean I'm still developing, I have like at least two strong team members, right? So I'm developing a team now, but first I had to develop myself before I got my team, otherwise I would have lost my identity in my team, I don't lose my identity, my team, my team and how they operate is defined based off of my identity and what I'm putting out there, this mission statement. Otherwise it wouldn't be on my team. And so this process had to happen, you know? So when it comes to it, what does the school about? Like, I don't, don't, don't worry, but I get it, we get passionate about stuff. Don't get me wrong, I just want to make sure that people can go to the site. So we have the podcast. Is that so that's, that's, that's on there. Besides that, I'm releasing my online course, the lit factor, which is living in truth, that's being released real soon. I'm thinking by the end of the month, the hurricane put uh I was supposed to celebrate uh sort of kind of the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina by releasing the course on the date of Hurricane Katrina. But of course, Hurricane I had to hit the exact same damn day as Hurricane Katrina. Uh, so that's an anomaly right there talking about anomaly. So, yes, and I was supposed to release of course that day. So now I backed it up. So besides this online course, a lit factor which is living in truth again, uh my, my philosophy that those who feel the most fulfillment, who experienced most fulfillment and the most empowerment and, and, and achieve the most have the most authentic accomplishments throughout life. And I mean, authentic cause it doesn't matter if you have a PhD if that's not really where your heart. Is that all right? And a lot of people I know. Have you uh what are you trying to say? I'm joking? I'm joking that you have. Oh man, congratulations, That's awesome man. You know? But I'm telling people that educational attainment and intellectual capacity is not synonymous. So just because you don't have a PhD doesn't mean that you can't do great things in life. A matter of fact, most of new money, it's college dropouts. So I honestly I mean getting a PhD more than you're more than likely to earn less as opposed to drop, I'm not let me not put that out there. All right, well i it's not about it. They want they automatically think that you're a scientist and you just want to be elaborate. Let's be realistic. Exactly. Exactly. So it's going to be a researcher that's all I want to do. I love research to but besides the online course, get into the School of Outliers offer an online course. I'm also about to put out a mini course uh called it's basically shadow work and shadow workers like bob Marley said bring like be like bring light to the darkness. And so what we're doing is the shadow parts of ourselves that we don't understand um that the many courses designed to help a person develop introspection, the skill of introspection so that they can go in and understand what's going on in them so they can stop being controlled by these impulses based off of their insecurities. So there's two online courses that's going to be there. Uh There's another, what else do I have going on besides the podcast on becoming out on the same site. Oh I also released my first e book um which is choosing uh choosing to heal, you know, and that is based off a shadow work in the series that I'm doing the book. The book will be uh it's basically the synopsis of the basis of which I'm going to expand upon and create the many course too. So the lift factor is the larger course, that's 12 chapters, that's intense, that's me being there coaching uh to answer any questions because there's a difference between getting knowledge and moving from understanding to the knowing. The knowing comes whenever you take your understanding and you're able to filter it through experience and then a click happens all of a sudden and now you see something that that was always there, but it never really clicked until just now I want to help people have that click so they can move from understanding to knowing because people know people know people know a lot of things, they just don't do shit about what they know, and so I want to help people get activated and become intentional about life because intentionality reflects relationship. So what do you get on the School of Outliers site? Not only do you have those course offerings, but I'm gonna be a part of the primary course of lift factors, I'll be there coaching so I can make it practical for them, but also you have a community of people that are there to support and I'll be there answering questions as well. My ideally I would like to move from facebook and treat my website as if it's my facebook community because there's too many haters on facebook, there's too much dumb shit on facebook. So I would really like to get away from facebook, you know, but I gotta, I gotta put my light out there so people, my people, my tribe, I'm not trying to track everybody. I just want my people who can resonate with what I say to find me, you know, and then once we do that we start setting some things up. I got some retreats. A matter of fact my first retreat I'm doing with my partner who's a dietician. Our first retreat is going to be next summer. So that's going to be so many different offerings that I'm about to put out there man, it's it's absurd. But the main thing is the online course which is more of a coaching program. I'm gonna say online coaching program, online transformation coaching program, the lid factor so definitely be looking at looking out for that. So of course I have to ask an important question, Do you sleep? Because it doesn't sound like it, it's not sound like it at all. Oh I do sleep, I do sleep. Uh I'm just hungry man, I'm hungry and I've I've, I've spent when you realize how much time you spend hiding. Um and that's part of the process to, you know, getting out of that, developing the courage to be unapologetically authentic. I am tired and and there's so many other people out there who are suffering. Um there's so much pain out there and there's so many charlatans out there that are telling people this is how you get rid of your pain and your suffering be like me again, going back to the bullshit about uh it's okay to speak like this. Yeah, getting back to the bullshit about written out planes and what not to impress people and shit. And so people buy into that because what the I see and the ears hear the mind believes the mind and before I go off on the mind, let me finish that. So, um my goal is to help people get free because I realized that the reason why there's so much animosity out there, why there's so much chaos while we're doing so much harm to killing everything else, we always project what's inside of us in my faith, the Pharisees try to holler edges like yo your people over here, they eaten on the sabbath, like they're screwing up your like, you know, that's a law, jesus, was like, yo it's not what goes in your mouth, but what comes out of your mouth that makes a man unclean and indeed what we do is constantly we don't realize we project outward what we have inside of us. And so that's that's that's that's on a mental spiritual energetic level, but on a physical level because I believe that the physical is a manifestation of spiritual laws. Think about it when we asked to borrow a cup of sugar, we say, do you have a cup of sugar that I can borrow? A person must first possess that what you're seeking to receive from them? And so many times we're seeking love and affection and attention and validation and self worth from people who do not validate themselves, who do not have self work themselves and so they can't give you what it is that you're looking for. So you're essentially going to a close down restaurant assuming that you're going to get fed and we do it again and again and again. And so that's why the suffering continues because a long way that you do that, the pain increases because that's deprivation. Deprivation is to be uh the pain of not having a need met for an extended period of time, which then leads to compulsion compulsions when we behave in an inauthentic matter in the end of the day, an authentic manner because we're in a fight or flight stage, because now we're in a stage of being a state of desperation from all of that deprivation. So how do we get free from that is by choosing to be authentic to choose to live through our values, no matter the cost, understand that sometimes you will experience pain because of your values, but your pain is not less wondrous than your joy, the sweet ain't sweet without the bitter, you know? And so we've come here to have a full human experience. There are people who, who have, who are affluent, who are wealthy and we look at them and we go, man, they got it made. But yet the suicide rates are highest among affluent white men, why they are the top of the food chain. People, why the suicide rates and they're so happy. Why the suicide rates are the happiest among affluent white men. It's because life is not about how much your goddamn how much money you have in your goddamn person's life is not about that. It's not about how many people you can buy how much coke you can snort how many friends you can buy, how big of how big of a brush job you can make for your wife, whatever it is, your mistress. It's not about that life is about how authentic, how true are you being to yourself. It's about living in your truth, the moment that you decided to live in your truth, not somebody else's not your parents, not what you've inherited, but moved back to being who you are inherently when you move back to that. Now you become lit up for life. Now you got something to represent. Now you've got a message, you know, and that's where I'm at and that's what the lift factors about. That's what my online coaching courses about. I have to tell you, I love it. Harry. You have to guarantee me this will not be the first and last week. You have to do this again. Most certainly. Most certainly. Most certainly man. Hey, it's a pleasure. We were at that time. We're at that time. So, but here's the thing. You're gonna have to come back. You're definitely going to have to come back. I appreciate you coming on to the show. Once more of the J Allen show goes to D F M dot com. The views and opinions expressed on this podcast
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The transcript is NOT perfect.
[00:00:02] spk_0: This show is brought to you by safety FM Well, hello and welcome to another episode of the J ALLen show. I hope everything is good and grand inside of your neck of the woods. It's been a fun year so far. Just taking a look at all the things that are going on and you kind of take a look back for a moment and you go, where has all the time gone? It's unbelievable that were already at the end of september the new year will be here in no time as you take a look forward. So let me tell you what we have going on today. I have the opportunity of sitting down with Harry Turner, the nocturnal therapist. If I was to tell you exactly how he describes himself for more than a decade, I have dedicated my life to helping others breakthrough personal barriers, overcomes life's challenges in the lead. Generally happy and healthier lives. I've traveled worldwide spreading love throughout volunteerism. It inspired me to create a nonprofit organization. My passion led me to be employed by a mental health department of a multi level security state correctional center, the emergency department of a major nonprofit hospital in a major community mental health clinic in baton rouge Louisiana. I later created my private practice, diverse counseling solutions LLC and now my online platform school of the outliers. So I want you to sit back today and take a listen to this conversation between Harry turner and myself. We're going to take some deep dives into mental health and other things that are out there. So sit back and take a listen right now on the J Allen show show streaming now on safety FM dot life. Okay. All right, Well there's definitely a pleasure to see you and you know, to meet you what you're finally Well, I saw you for a few minutes but I couldn't hear you so, so it's good and sorry about the delay on getting this done. Um You've been kind of busy with the weather thing, so I entirely get that. But of course I have to ask the question number one, are you fine? Because it looks like you're it seems like you're in a good place so that that's important. But you just said that your families displaced at the same time too. So are you in close proximity or some kind of distance to work? Yeah. No, my my parents, they're up in uh barry at the top of Louisiana. I mean I'm from the uh I'm in the capital baton rouge about three hours, 3.5, 4 hours away. Um And as long as they are alive, you know, we've been through Katrina, we've been, you know, my parents been through Hurricane Betsy and Camille for those of y'all who know that like the those historic hurricanes and so for them, as long as they are alive, they're good to go, you know, they can replace everything else, the house and everything else, you know? Absolutely. So I have to ask of course the other strange question, Late night show. So, are you still doing it with everything going on in your lifetime at the moment? Almost certainly never, nothing ever stops. I just want to make sure because, you know, sometimes, you know, when things go out of the ordinary, people go, okay, time to drop the mic and move on to some something else for the time being, Well, I just want to well, let me say this, I your this today is my this is the first podcast. As soon as this is done, I'm into when Harry met Daphne, my second podcast. Then from there, I have four other podcasts. I'll be doing, so just today, I'll be doing six podcasts and it ain't that slow down for me. Okay, wow. So it keeps you busy. So, I'm gonna tell you, you know, we we met on match maker is how we kind of came about. And I always have a weird time having that discussion with people at the very beginning, because if you're not familiar with it, somebody automatically assumes it's a dating site, which that's not the case. I mean, when I had to explain it to my spouse, it was like, I'm investing into this company, but this is what they do, and it's not a dating website. So it's always, it's always an interesting conversation, but I have to tell you when we, when we're kind of, going back and forth. I was taking a look at some of the information that I could find and what amazes me is that you are a psychotherapist. Yes, but you start off in the world of criminology, how did you go down this path and you make it to where you're at right now? Okay, To where I'm at right now, that's a long journey. But I'll say that. Let me rephrase that, please. How did you get in from criminology to go into psychotherapy? I mean, I guess if one, once I asked the question out loud, I can see where it might tie in, but at the same time, you know, now a lot of people make that connection. Yeah. So for me criminology, I took that up whenever I came back to school, the second time, at first I was pre med, I got, you know, one semester away from graduating with my biological science degree and I said I don't wanna be a doctor. So I know, what did you say? One semester, one semester, Oh my you're committed. You're committed then, for sure. Yeah, you'd be committed now that you're committed joking. No, no, but but I'm committed to my, once I make up my mind, I'm committed to that always. So for me it was pointless to get a sheet of paper because a sheet of paper doesn't define me. I mean, yes, I know in the world of symbolism, especially here in America sheets of paper and letters, they mean things, but they don't to me. So I mean it means that I get to do a thing, but it never defined who I am personally. So when I returned back criminology, sociology with a concentration criminology, it was the study of human behavior and I've always been fascinated by that. Uh and so I just zoomed through that and after I finished my bachelor's degree, I knew I couldn't unless I went for the CIA FBI. It was pretty difficult to get a job with just criminology. And I saw a flyer with this uh this caucasian male and it's relevant with a bunch of uh he had a plenty of african Children around him and he was holding one up and it gave me such a warm feeling in my heart and I saw the School of social work on it. So I went to the School of Social work and uh basically the director there, she said, yeah, that's that was Aldine. Um that picture is actually a picture he took when he was overseas. We actually don't do that. We do micro level work, which is like therapy and stuff like that. He she said that he just like the picture and put it on there. But that's what led me to the school and I didn't have any plans for anything else. So I said okay to hell with it, I'll just check and see what the social work thing is about. I had no idea. I would end up becoming a psychotherapist, but there's a difference between therapy and psychotherapy. Would you like me to go into that? Absolutely. Of course, we have people that want to want to know more. So, Okay, alright, alright, therapy versus psychotherapy. So typically therapists, they function, they focus on every day functioning, right? So you have issues in your marriage, or you're having issues at the job of managing stress. They helped to uh to help a person get a baseline level of functioning that's healthy psychotherapist, at least the way that I see it. We're more fraud ian and carl young, like, um and that for me, everything begins every experience we've ever had matters. And so when someone comes into my office, I want to know about the limiting beliefs. They may not know it, and I don't ask them like this, but I'm trying to identify the Levitin and unhealthy beliefs they have adopted from childhood in the traumatic experiences that they've had. Because in those traumatic experiences, we make a conclusion about ourselves in those experiences and that leads to a limiting belief in a lifetime pattern. I've done hypnotherapy with people in the 70s that went back to memories when they were two and three years old, that began a lifetime pattern and they just now identifying it in their seventies. So every single experience we've had, it builds on each other every single time we feel anxious, it's not just in the current that we're experiencing even logically, the mind says that it's every single time we've been anxious, every time we feel sad, it's every experience we had with sadness. So it always goes back to the beginning. And so for me, psychotherapy, just my opinion and I'm biased now because I'm a psychotherapist, but for me it's shooting at the base of the fire instead of at the top of the flames. I wanna put out the fire. You know, when you start going through the process, just for us to have a better understanding as well. It's not a one or two time conversation because this is gonna take some time to develop because somebody is not going to open up to you of, let me tell you what I would consider my deepest and darkest secrets to some extent. So what is the what is the path that you normally would have to go down just to be able to get some of this information? Well, the same path that you will go down for anything else that you're intentional about learning. It takes time and dedication and diligence. But also, if you have a competent therapist, then they they make things a lot easier. So oftentimes people come to my office at this point, people come to my office and I've been studying human behavior so long that when they come into my office they tell me a few sentences and I can tell them their life story. and so that automatically makes a person feel much more comfortable with opening up, he's like, oh shit what he already knows anyway. You know? Like, you know I mean? And I tell them, I said that I'm not a psychic, that's not, I'm not, you know, I can't see that. It's literally we are much more uh program than we realize. We think that every single decision we make is an autonomous decision in which we're exercising 100% control, but rarely do we ever exercise our own individual autonomous control. And so it's understanding why, you know, So let me ask the strange question here because I say this all the time. So I wanted to get your opinion on it. Do you think that what makes you very good at your job and your career path makes you have crappy personal relationships to an extent because you already kind of can recognize and read people No, actually my personal relationships are typically pretty, pretty rewarding, you know, because the reading of people for me, people are no more than an extension, a separate version, an extension of myself. And so really the only reason we even hold on, I mean they're coming around crappy people, jeez thanks So, but it's seriously, I see people as an extension of myself. And so uh for for me it's always an opportunity to learn a deeper truth about that person and at the same time, learn a deeper truth about myself because whether we realize it or not, even though we experience life separately, were born tabula rasa or empty slave and we have a subjective human experience in which we are experiencing life as being separate from everybody else. I know that we're all the same. That's that's me, that's me now, that's me. And so I operate from that place. So my personal relationships are pretty rewarding. The only, the only strain a strain on it is that I right now I'm so busy with the hustle and bustle. Like I said, I have five podcasts record just today, you know, outside of this one. So this would be number six and I'm glad I'm starting off with this because I have the most energy I'm and I had no idea I had was going to have issues with my mind and everything, but um but yeah, man, um as long as I have the time, you know, or rather as long as I am intentional about telling my time to spend time my people, that's when my relationships are the most healthiest, but it's easy for me to get wrapped up in my mission and neglect those relationships. So let me let me ask this strange question here when you then say that everybody's living life individually, which is true. What happens when you start hearing when people saying, oh, we're all in this together and we want to have similarities or we have groups of people that hang around each other because of similar paths, quote unquote in based on what you're saying. It doesn't sound like that's the case in regards that we're all living in similar paths. We all go through our own individual journey. So how do you look at that? Yeah, we all go through our own individual journey, but we're all here to answer the same question, which is the who am I. And so that's that's where we have the commonality at. You know, whether we realize it or not, that's what we always answering when a person feels empty when they become complacent. Um, uh, it's usually because they stop answering the question, Who am I? You know, it doesn't matter how much money you make, it doesn't matter what your uh sexual orientation is, what your gender is, what your what your so what your ethnicity is. None of those things matter when it comes down to happiness, happiness and peace and these higher emotions, they are in relation to how authentic we are being, authenticity is tied to how closely in alignment we are with our values, Our values represent who we are in this place. The closest thing that represents who we are in this place of business, where everything is and nothing is not. And so when it comes down to people, um, yeah, we're here together, but that doesn't mean that we're all here on the same mission, you know, and we we most certainly uh I take on the the belief in the practice of you know, I am my brother's and sister's keeper, you know? So I do believe that we're all here together. But just because we're using the same words doesn't mean we're reading from the same dictionary. So I got to understand what persons principles are because if you don't have principles that are congruent to mind, if you're not a principal person, which I find is rare these days. If you're not a principal person and your principles are not congruent to mind, then I can't fool with you because you may not, you may not bite me right now. But at some point when the squeeze happens, your principles will be expressed. Which if you don't have any there will be hedonistic in nature, in nature and selfish. And so that's when I get bit. So I specifically align myself with people who are energetically aligned with me via uh Congruence and value system. Well, here's I'm going to tell you your one answer. There's so much to unpack there. And that's a good thing. I like it because you have a you have a thinking man's answer which I love because there's so many different ways that you can go with this. But you did reference a couple of different things and I kind of want to take a little deeper dive if you don't mind. Do you think that some of the programming that most people get comes directly from their parents? Do you think that that's some of the portion that really aligns on what they're going? What part of their trajectory can be going forward? Almost certainly, uh, from their parents, but the parents have also been indoctrinated. So it's really about what what generation will choose to get out of the Matrix. We were born in the we were still being taught according to the industrial age philosophy, the industrial age, we needed factory workers, that, that the rich people need to factory workers, there were more time. They need to factory workers. And the schooling system is based off of that as well. All of this is a form of indoctrination. And so when you look at school, you have to answer test, you have to meet certain requirements and then you answer to an authority figure training even us as kids to follow instructions to not be intentional about life, but rather to be intentional about filing instructions from somebody in charge. And so we go through school and then uh, and I've said this many times. Uh, we have a graduation, whether very, very graduation can be seen as a combination of the words gradual and indoctrination. We've been gradually indoctrinated into american way of thinking, but all of us, if we turn our critical thinking. Hat we have to ask ourselves what is the american way of thinking and does all of it benefit us? Is it the healthiest way of going about life? You know, you have such good answers. I'm going to tell you that and I don't normally say that to people because I always get like, I always think that's such a dumb comment for somebody to say, let's just be realistic. I say that all the time when somebody told me that such a great question. Um, but I never tell anybody they have great answers. Now, the other portion is because it is programming and I love that you use the matrix terminology for sure. But you said on the previous answer as well that we are our brother's Keeper. You also had reference to me prior on some of the information that you had sent over um, that some of your interest or spirituality. So do you look at it from that standpoint from a faith based portion on your, your, your brother's keeper. I hate titles. I mean, I don't hate title, we'll say spirituality. We don't have to say faith based. We can say spirituality if that works better. No, I am a faith, I'm full of faith. But the faith, the faith that I have besides my own personal religious beliefs, which I believe all of us have religion honestly, religion is every thought word indeed, but I am a christian, but I'm not exactly uh, the run of the mill christian. Um, and there's so many different things that could mean, well I'm more into uh, understanding the universal codes that guide everything because things the way that is physical manifestation presents itself, it presents itself in different ways. But these spiritual laws remain the same. And so for me I am my brother's keeper, that's part. Yeah, I do combine spirituality with what it is that I know science only goes so far and even more so now they're showing their proving that because of quantum mechanics and what's being done via quantum mechanics. Quantum physics when you think about the superposition and you have an uh an atom in multiple places at the same time. I mean how close is that to the christian concept of omni presence, you know like these things are being proven. And so I know I know that these spiritual truths have always been around and that no matter what your belief system is, those that go deepest in their own understanding of this earth, they always come to the same conclusion in Christianity. There is read what you reap what you sow in buddhism, they may call it karma and and and uh science or if you're if you're strictly a science person, Newton sir, Isaac Newton's third law of thermodynamics states for every action has an equal and opposite reaction. You're saying the same thing just in different ways. When you go deeper in your knowledge, you always come to the same center. You know this is jay allen show there is a lot of misconceptions when it comes to the world of virtual private networks or VPNS. Let me tell you real quick about my favorite VPN service, Nord VPN. I hear people say all the time that VPns have the reputation of slowing down your internet speed but not with Nord VPN. It's because they are the fastest VPN in the world world. I don't know if the sacrifice internet speed for better security with nord VPN, my traffic is routed through a secure encrypted tunnel which protects my data and privacy. 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At checkout, remember 73% off for a two year plan plus four months for free and we are back on the J allen show on safety FM. You know, it's great that you mentioned that because there's not a lot of people that I'm able to sit around and have a conversation about quantum mechanics with. So I appreciate you actually getting and it's interesting because you almost told exactly the same point that I was gonna make, it's interesting on them when you take a look at the different, we'll say forms of religion or faith or however you want to base it, that there have some similarities. Um We can talk about what you were just referencing, we can talk about the flood if you want to do that as well. That there at some point there is something that's kind of even so when you take a look and you look at the over universal, universal appeal to it, do you say that we're kind of all doing the same thing in a different sequence but trying to get to the same destination. Yes, and and some of us are much more skilled than others are doing. So when you see these gurus and uh you know, people like the dalai Lama and what not, these people are not meant to be idols uh there and it's much easier. I would imagine it would be much less challenging to be a monk if I live in a monastery, it's not so easy to be a monk if I live in baton rouge and I'm trying to get to work and it's high traffic time period and people are driving crazy on the road, you see there's so many distractions throughout life. The really the only thing that I can rely on that solid are my value system. So those who are authentic or have developed a skill of operating through their values, I'm not saying you need to move to a monastery because I'm not living in a monastery. I still lived through my values. What I'm saying is that it's about skillfully practicing different to your values the moment that you don't do that now you're being guided by the mind and what it wants and the mind is only looking for threats. So it's operating based off of fears. The longest distance any of us will ever take is just between our head and our hearts. When you begin to operate from your heart space. Now you can channel the mind, you can move through the mind and use the mind for what is meant to be, which was a tool. The mind was created last not first, the body is not an extension of the mind. The mind is an extension of the body, but if he gets that. And so it puts its its priorities first, which are fear based, always looking for threats, you know, and that's why we have the tendency to want to hide ourselves instead of being true authentic self. But that's the myth that the mind tells us because the mind says that you will be safe from pain. If you hide yourself, let me tell you life is gonna bring pain no matter what, whether you hide in the closet or whether you choose to be authentic self, so which one will get you free? You know, that's what I thought about, which one would get me free and of course being my authentic self is that if I got to deal with pain anyway, then screw it, you know, I'm gonna be my authentic self in the process. If I'm gonna be judged by people anyway, I'd rather be judged for being my authentic self can be judged for hide in the closet. If I'm going to talk about anyway, I'd rather be talked about while I'm out here doing my thing as opposed to hide in the closet. You know, if I'm gonna be miserable if I'm gonna be miserable, I'm not gonna be miserable if I'm being myself. Yeah, because that's a horrible example, but if I am miserable if I'm in a state of misery, which I was in before, then that's a sign for me to seek out my true authentic self because it's only when I'm living through my values that I have any sense of fulfillment. If we notice our values, your values basically what's important to you. If you wake up every day and do what's important to you, then you are living a values based life, you are experiencing fulfillment and now you've invited in happiness because happiness is not a destination to be reached. The way we travel. When you look up the etymology of the word happiness is to do that which produces the experience of happiness. It is an action word. It is in the present the moment that you begin pursuing happiness is the moment you decide you would never experience happiness. Man, there I something tells me that we could go on for a very very, very long. I have so many more questions to ask you. So to an extent you believe that we are a representation of what they deemed in the matrix representation of our digital selves. So with that being said, what's your take on social media and what's necessary? There's so many takes that we can take from that. I mean I know that's why I said, well it's a and it's something that we must adapt to while it's good and that it helps us to stay in touch. There's so much ignorance around it for all of us because it's so new, including the creators of it, they didn't expect for it to to to cause the issues that it is caused from election interference from foreign agents. Um all the way down to a person trying to cope with the ending of a relationship and yet they tune in and because facebook's algorithm shows their ex every time they tune in now they see their ex with somebody else, which didn't cause us more torment things like that. Social media we we as a society we're not prepared for. I believe that it's helpful because I wouldn't be on your show right now. We're not for social media, you know? But outside of that, when we go to seeking answers on social media, that's when we decide that we are basically acquiesce, you know, or throwing a dart in in in the middle of a dark room, you know, like it's there's no answers to be found on social media. You know, I mean there are people that can help guide you, but any true guide, they guide you into the dawning of your own understanding. They don't give you your their knowledge. They don't say be like me, like a lot of these uh charlatan, let me not go off on people, but there's a lot of people out there that you're being too kind, you're being too kind now. I mean if there's something out there, go for it. I'm good with this because these are conversations that we need to have. Um I find it hilarious, the fake famous thing, It's just mind boggling to me um people renting out rooms that are, that look like jets to say that they're flying in some jet that they're not flying in or buying likes or buying people to, you know, to follow them on social media for it to be like, look at my life, it's so important. And when you start taking into the whole account of how this affects somebody mentally, I think it's an important conversation because you get to interact with people that other people don't get to see. And I mean that in a fashion that, you know, I'm not saying, hey, let's open, let's open the fourth wall up and you tell me exactly what they're telling you. But some of these things bother people out there where I want my life to be similar to Mhm Whoever down the road because this life that they're living and I'm not saying, hey, post the worst thing of your life, but you don't see a lot of people posting of, hey, you know, the stuff hit the crapper today, it all hit the fan is all over the place, not a conversation most people have, it's, oh I'm going to do, I'm going to do buy into this fancy place and that's not everybody's life, they want to speak mm, I've made a habit of what more so now I'm more business like, so I just host a lot of things about my brand now, but I've always made it happen on social media of expressing all seasons of my heart because I'm a human being and I want to give the image as if life is supposed to be nothing but pleasure. That's bullshit. Life isn't all about uh pleasure, that's, that's hedonistic, the moment that you believe that life is all about pleasure. Um you know that you've completely lost yourself to the desires of the mind, which is hedonistic. Much of our growth and anything not growing is dead and we should be going to the day that we die. But much of our growth will be growing pains, not growing pleasures if we don't adopt the mentality to lean into our discomfort based off of our values to grow through that pain, then re recycle that same situation again and again and again until we get some understanding. That's the reason why that pain is there. That pain is there because we ignore that understanding and until we get that understanding, that exact pain that we experience will be there. That's the same thing I told people when I was a minimal clinician and uh multi level security prison and when I was teaching anger management and parenting classes, you know, a lot of, some of the younger ones in particular that the, okay, I love the old cats in the prison, but the younger ones in particular that just got in there with this cocky attitude. Yeah, I'm gonna do it, I'm going out there and I'm just gonna do it better next time I said, alright, dumb ass. I'll see you in about six months after you get out Sure enough. Yeah, either we get understand and I don't mean to call them by a dumb ass, you know? But I, yeah, there's a moment where it's, yeah, there's that shock factor, you know, I mean, and honestly dumb from my understanding, the word dumb means you can't learn stupid means that you refuse to learn. So really, he was being stupid and not dumb, you know, but dumb is an antiquated word. It was a, it was an appropriate legal word at one point in time, but now it's inappropriate anyway. Yeah, man, in this life we get knowledge. We either we get understanding or we get pain that's supposed to bring about understanding. And you mentioned something earlier about, you mentioned about social media and the mental health impact of social media Yeah, this facade because we're all seeking to answer that question, who am I? And when you have these, these pseudo, these pseudo leaders coming out, um, renting out planes and what not saying, hey, be like me, let me this is why values are so important and why principles are so important. So for anybody out there who has the, who's getting caught up in that or you know, somebody caught up in that, understand this? My favorite author, Khalil Gibran, he says, seek not to find the path to God, but rather seek to find God on your path. It's not about moving overhead, switching up your entire life and doing what this person says, you need to do so that you can be in a phony playing with the phony friends and everything else like them. It's not about that, it's about going deeper and what the hell you already know. I am a christian. If I meet somebody who's atheist, I said, okay, that's great. Just go deeper. And what you understand, if I meet somebody who's buddhist, great, go deeper in what you understand. If I meet somebody who's christian, alright, great, go deeper. And what you understand. Because if you go deep enough, you will not be able to tell the difference between someone who's buddhist versus someone who's christian versus someone who's hindu versus someone who's atheists, You will not be able to tell the difference between them. Because just like the earth, if we dig long enough, we all reached the same center and that's what the game is about. It's about answering that question, Who am I? We find a deeper with each time that we answer that question, because it's never just bam that question is answered. It's a gradual process of answering that question. And so it's not about finding the truth, but these individual truths about ourselves and as we experience life, which will come here to have a full experience, the more troops that we gather, the freer, we become, the more empowered we become. And the more decisions we make in that new level of awareness is about expanded awareness. You know, ignorance and freedom cannot coexist. I swear that we could be here for hours. I want to, I want to tell you this. So, so tell us about the school of the outliers. I'm interested in what you have to offer here. So, oh, I definitely should've right down. So this is where I have to develop the skill of selling myself a little bit better. I've never been used to doing that, but the school of our lives, I created it because honestly I am, I've considered myself to be an outline for quite some time. I just never really fit in. And so an outlier learned. And while I was getting my criminology degree, uh, it's a statistical anomaly outside of the margin. So in a classroom that's a kindergarten classroom that they wanted to calculate the average age they would throughout the teachers age because they would be an anomaly that would mess up or secure the results. Well, I've always been this anomaly. You know, um, I was the only african american male to graduate through my high school in my high school class because there was a drug bust. I think it was my sophomore year and uh, in my neighborhood and most of the african american men, which many of wasn't many of them to begin with, Most of them were incarcerated except for two of us. Um, and the other person, he dropped out when everybody else went to prison. So I was one of the only black men too to uh I was the only black men to cross the stage from my high school graduation. I was only black man to be and uh walk across the stage during my Master's degree graduation, like there's so many times throughout my life where I had to do things by myself and I didn't realize that that theme of being an outlier and having to just be intentional and operating my values even when I don't have a team beside me that that would be there, that that would have to be a necessary component. Now, I have a team now, I mean I'm still developing, I have like at least two strong team members, right? So I'm developing a team now, but first I had to develop myself before I got my team, otherwise I would have lost my identity in my team, I don't lose my identity, my team, my team and how they operate is defined based off of my identity and what I'm putting out there, this mission statement. Otherwise it wouldn't be on my team. And so this process had to happen, you know? So when it comes to it, what does the school about? Like, I don't, don't, don't worry, but I get it, we get passionate about stuff. Don't get me wrong, I just want to make sure that people can go to the site. So we have the podcast. Is that so that's, that's, that's on there. Besides that, I'm releasing my online course, the lit factor, which is living in truth, that's being released real soon. I'm thinking by the end of the month, the hurricane put uh I was supposed to celebrate uh sort of kind of the anniversary of Hurricane Katrina by releasing the course on the date of Hurricane Katrina. But of course, Hurricane I had to hit the exact same damn day as Hurricane Katrina. Uh, so that's an anomaly right there talking about anomaly. So, yes, and I was supposed to release of course that day. So now I backed it up. So besides this online course, a lit factor which is living in truth again, uh my, my philosophy that those who feel the most fulfillment, who experienced most fulfillment and the most empowerment and, and, and achieve the most have the most authentic accomplishments throughout life. And I mean, authentic cause it doesn't matter if you have a PhD if that's not really where your heart. Is that all right? And a lot of people I know. Have you uh what are you trying to say? I'm joking? I'm joking that you have. Oh man, congratulations, That's awesome man. You know? But I'm telling people that educational attainment and intellectual capacity is not synonymous. So just because you don't have a PhD doesn't mean that you can't do great things in life. A matter of fact, most of new money, it's college dropouts. So I honestly I mean getting a PhD more than you're more than likely to earn less as opposed to drop, I'm not let me not put that out there. All right, well i it's not about it. They want they automatically think that you're a scientist and you just want to be elaborate. Let's be realistic. Exactly. Exactly. So it's going to be a researcher that's all I want to do. I love research to but besides the online course, get into the School of Outliers offer an online course. I'm also about to put out a mini course uh called it's basically shadow work and shadow workers like bob Marley said bring like be like bring light to the darkness. And so what we're doing is the shadow parts of ourselves that we don't understand um that the many courses designed to help a person develop introspection, the skill of introspection so that they can go in and understand what's going on in them so they can stop being controlled by these impulses based off of their insecurities. So there's two online courses that's going to be there. Uh There's another, what else do I have going on besides the podcast on becoming out on the same site. Oh I also released my first e book um which is choosing uh choosing to heal, you know, and that is based off a shadow work in the series that I'm doing the book. The book will be uh it's basically the synopsis of the basis of which I'm going to expand upon and create the many course too. So the lift factor is the larger course, that's 12 chapters, that's intense, that's me being there coaching uh to answer any questions because there's a difference between getting knowledge and moving from understanding to the knowing. The knowing comes whenever you take your understanding and you're able to filter it through experience and then a click happens all of a sudden and now you see something that that was always there, but it never really clicked until just now I want to help people have that click so they can move from understanding to knowing because people know people know people know a lot of things, they just don't do shit about what they know, and so I want to help people get activated and become intentional about life because intentionality reflects relationship. So what do you get on the School of Outliers site? Not only do you have those course offerings, but I'm gonna be a part of the primary course of lift factors, I'll be there coaching so I can make it practical for them, but also you have a community of people that are there to support and I'll be there answering questions as well. My ideally I would like to move from facebook and treat my website as if it's my facebook community because there's too many haters on facebook, there's too much dumb shit on facebook. So I would really like to get away from facebook, you know, but I gotta, I gotta put my light out there so people, my people, my tribe, I'm not trying to track everybody. I just want my people who can resonate with what I say to find me, you know, and then once we do that we start setting some things up. I got some retreats. A matter of fact my first retreat I'm doing with my partner who's a dietician. Our first retreat is going to be next summer. So that's going to be so many different offerings that I'm about to put out there man, it's it's absurd. But the main thing is the online course which is more of a coaching program. I'm gonna say online coaching program, online transformation coaching program, the lid factor so definitely be looking at looking out for that. So of course I have to ask an important question, Do you sleep? Because it doesn't sound like it, it's not sound like it at all. Oh I do sleep, I do sleep. Uh I'm just hungry man, I'm hungry and I've I've, I've spent when you realize how much time you spend hiding. Um and that's part of the process to, you know, getting out of that, developing the courage to be unapologetically authentic. I am tired and and there's so many other people out there who are suffering. Um there's so much pain out there and there's so many charlatans out there that are telling people this is how you get rid of your pain and your suffering be like me again, going back to the bullshit about uh it's okay to speak like this. Yeah, getting back to the bullshit about written out planes and what not to impress people and shit. And so people buy into that because what the I see and the ears hear the mind believes the mind and before I go off on the mind, let me finish that. So, um my goal is to help people get free because I realized that the reason why there's so much animosity out there, why there's so much chaos while we're doing so much harm to killing everything else, we always project what's inside of us in my faith, the Pharisees try to holler edges like yo your people over here, they eaten on the sabbath, like they're screwing up your like, you know, that's a law, jesus, was like, yo it's not what goes in your mouth, but what comes out of your mouth that makes a man unclean and indeed what we do is constantly we don't realize we project outward what we have inside of us. And so that's that's that's that's on a mental spiritual energetic level, but on a physical level because I believe that the physical is a manifestation of spiritual laws. Think about it when we asked to borrow a cup of sugar, we say, do you have a cup of sugar that I can borrow? A person must first possess that what you're seeking to receive from them? And so many times we're seeking love and affection and attention and validation and self worth from people who do not validate themselves, who do not have self work themselves and so they can't give you what it is that you're looking for. So you're essentially going to a close down restaurant assuming that you're going to get fed and we do it again and again and again. And so that's why the suffering continues because a long way that you do that, the pain increases because that's deprivation. Deprivation is to be uh the pain of not having a need met for an extended period of time, which then leads to compulsion compulsions when we behave in an inauthentic matter in the end of the day, an authentic manner because we're in a fight or flight stage, because now we're in a stage of being a state of desperation from all of that deprivation. So how do we get free from that is by choosing to be authentic to choose to live through our values, no matter the cost, understand that sometimes you will experience pain because of your values, but your pain is not less wondrous than your joy, the sweet ain't sweet without the bitter, you know? And so we've come here to have a full human experience. There are people who, who have, who are affluent, who are wealthy and we look at them and we go, man, they got it made. But yet the suicide rates are highest among affluent white men, why they are the top of the food chain. People, why the suicide rates and they're so happy. Why the suicide rates are the happiest among affluent white men. It's because life is not about how much your goddamn how much money you have in your goddamn person's life is not about that. It's not about how many people you can buy how much coke you can snort how many friends you can buy, how big of how big of a brush job you can make for your wife, whatever it is, your mistress. It's not about that life is about how authentic, how true are you being to yourself. It's about living in your truth, the moment that you decided to live in your truth, not somebody else's not your parents, not what you've inherited, but moved back to being who you are inherently when you move back to that. Now you become lit up for life. Now you got something to represent. Now you've got a message, you know, and that's where I'm at and that's what the lift factors about. That's what my online coaching courses about. I have to tell you, I love it. Harry. You have to guarantee me this will not be the first and last week. You have to do this again. Most certainly. Most certainly. Most certainly man. Hey, it's a pleasure. We were at that time. We're at that time. So, but here's the thing. You're gonna have to come back. You're definitely going to have to come back. I appreciate you coming on to the show. Once more of the J Allen show goes to D F M dot com. The views and opinions expressed on this podcast
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[00:42:31] spk_1: Examples of analysis
[00:42:33] spk_0: discussed within this podcast are only examples. It should
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[00:42:38] spk_1: only solution available
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[00:42:40] spk_1: only on very limited
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